Anyone For A Game Of Soldiers?

In the car. The traffic was horrible for no apparent reason; the queues into Derby were horrendous. It's not people queuing for Wembley tickets because they have all gone. Apparently there were a few skirmishes as people queued overnight on Saturday for the last few tickets. Lots of people apparently came straight from the bars and were a tad drunk.

I'm in Sainsbury's at lunchtime where I see a woman feeding her child a banana straight from the display. Someone pointed out that she shouldn’t be doing this and she was very obnoxious to him but she said she’d pay for it at the till. Hmmm, even if she does, she won't be popular, can't see how they can weigh the banana now.

While I'm there I get my energetic girl a present from the out-of-date fruit counter. Need to keep her strength up; I just don't know what she'll be demanding next but I'm keen to find out. It's a melon but not as we know it. It was too small. I would not have been 100% sure it was a melon had it not been labelled.

L asks what kind it is and says she won't accept "round" and "green" as acceptable answers. What does she take me for? In fact it is round and green but it isn't a large apple. It's a Galia, which doesn't mean anything to me but L's an expert in these things. Turns out it's her favourite type. So brownie points there. Total accident but she can feel free to thank me at midnight...

If you're wondering why England failed to win the First Test against the West Indies today, here's the reason. Batsman Alastair Cook clearly had his mind elsewhere, having just done a charity photo shoot for the Ben Hollioake Trust.



That's not clothes they're wearing, its body paint. It was a cold day apparently.



Dog class and I still have a dog that can't weave.

Under interrogation, L divulges that last nights unexpected feast of passion was triggered by a dream concerning the off duty exploits of the plastic toy soldiers in Toy Story. A least I assume they were off duty. Very bizarre but then L specialises in bizarre dreams. Anyhow I'm not complaining. I lay awake most of the night humming the theme tune to Toy Story but nothing happens. I'll just have to sit her down in front of the DVD tomorrow.