Another Rant About Women And Mobile Phones

L was up and away early and I lay in bed pondering the big question. Bike or swim? Trying to combine the two, with all the kit it involves, is proving difficult. It would be particularly problematic today because L is working late and can't meet me at the pool. I can't hear the rain lashing against the window, well not at this precise moment, decision made, it's time to hit the road.

It's the correct choice; it would have been a shame to have wasted, what was at that moment, a nice morning. I’m sure it will soak me on the way home though. Even get chance to say hi to L and Doggo as I pass them. Almost as soon as I get to work it starts raining.

Another rant about women and mobile phones. There's a girl who works at the company next door to ours. She young, about eighteen I guess, and very very small. Every lunchtime, she stands outside my window, a fag in one hand, and her mobile phone in the other. You can't hear what she says but she talks for at least half an hour every day without fail. Thing is she hops from foot to foot as she talks, it's almost a bounce and although you can't hear her words she makes strange noises. She screeches and squeals. It's quite a surreal experience and it really puts you off your lunch. I'm sure she's having phone sex.

At night she walks to the bus with a chap from her office. He's the type who looks like he can't wait to get home to his playstation but for reasons he doesn't know and probably wouldn't understand anyway, he's drawn to her. He's seems to desperately want to talk to her, if he could think of something to say, but he can't because she's on her mobile phone the whole time. You can see the frustration on his face; he doesn't know what to do. He'd very much like to take her home with him, so that they can play Grand Theft Auto together, his mum wouldn't mind but he just looks at the girl in awe, as they walk, three foot apart, her on her mobile phone, bouncing, screeching and squealing. He doesn't exist.

On my ride home, I play around with my route. I take the Pride Park cycle path to Raynesway. Then down Raynesway to the back entrance of Elvaston Castle. Ok so far. The grit path through the Castle grounds is not perfect but it's bearable. Once off the track and onto the tarmac it's actually worse because of some huge speed bumps which cannot be avoided and there's dozens of them. Eventually reach the safety of the main road to Borrowash. A glutton for punishment I take the cycle path across the back of Borrowash. First there's an impossible gate, then more grit path but this time with potholes and overhanging trees, not at all pleasant. This brings me up the back of new estate and on to the road to Draycott. Now I'm onto the Erewash Triathlon route.

I soon get up a good speed but it's going to be a crap race route. I had to veer round numerous parked cars, keep my eye on loads of side roads, play leapfrog with a couple of buses, stop at two pedestrian crossings. Not ideal race conditions.

I follow the route round to Risley and rejoin my usual route home but do another variation. I go straight through to Bramcote rather than my usual Coventry Lane way. Coming past the swimming baths, I hear some heavy breathing behind me and realise that someone is tailing my rear. As its male, I speed up and try to drop him. Next time I look behind he's turned off down Thoresby Road, bet that wasn't his intended route. He just couldn't hack the pace.

Get home having done 30k. A good workout. Daughter is just off to Guides. She texts me when she's arrived. I text her back to wish her an enjoyable night. She texts again "Yar y no, thats excatly wat mum sed" whatever that means.

Dog class. I'm not in the best of form tonight, in fact I'm rubbish, not that Doggo notices, he's far too busy. There's this one particular patch of wall that needs weeing up every five minutes. He's far too occupied to concentrate on me.

The chap who does training is a really nice chap but he's quite old (well older than me), balding (well more bald than me), short and a bit overweight. Yet he always has this young, tall, thin, and attractive girlfriend in tow. Must be his dogging that pulls the women.

It's West Bromwich to play us at Wembley as they beat Wolves 1-0.