Emergency Tent Repairs

We have a cosy lie in the tent. Just L and me, our trusty collie and the wind and the rain outside. I have my quota of seven sexual thoughts all in one go, all courtesy of L and some more fantastic sex under canvas.

Around 10.30 we get up, shower and have a little breakfast. Then we go off for a four hour hike round the valley. We avoid the hills as the forecast is not terribly good.

Doggo has a wonderful time and gets a lot of off-lead, a rarity in the Lakes due to the large amount of sheep, whom he just can't resist 'playing' with. When he is on the lead he manages to tug us along, that is until he breaks his collar again, finishing off the one he partly destroyed orienteering last week. At first I take off my belt and try putting that round his neck but that doesn't work. In the end I reverse his lead putting the adjustable handle end round his neck and threading the hoop with his tags on it onto my belt and then attaching the clip end to it. I now have dog tags round my waist and I now chink as I walk. Think I catch Doggo grinning at me.

'Regrettably' we end up in a pub close to the end of our walk at only 3.45. Whitby Black Dog Bitter 4.1%. Find out that Derby are winning and poised to go top of the league.

We are still a few miles from camp and by the time we have walked down the road to a pub nearer to the campsite Derby have proved my prediction correct and cantered home 1-0.

We have more beer - Old Peculiar again, 3 pints of and a Jennings Cumberland. The Cumberland is again poor and confirms that it has declined so much, that it is now beyond recognition as the beer it once was. I won't bother with it again.

I have some delightful garlic mushrooms as a starter, that are a meal in themselves and then a wonderful Goulash and rice. We call a halt at five pints and stagger out into the rain and back to camp. It is only 8.30.

Despite our drunken state we notice that the tent is listing slightly. On closer inspection I see that the wind has snapped one of the poles. Luckily it is a good quality tent and it is still strong even without all its poles. I simply pad the broken pole with a plastic ground sheet to prevent it ripping the tent and hope the wind doesn't do any more damage.

Once inside our cosy abode we have more coffee and chocolate but tonight I think we are both beyond sex. Looking at the state of our knackered collie, he appears almost beyond life itself. We end up feeding him by hand just to make sure he eats something. Then we crash, I think, I can't remember!