Slipping The Noose Over My Head

L gets up early and does son’s papers, then she has to go into work. So it’s a shag free Saturday morning. Doggo and I, somehow get our respective legs moving, get up and go to Bradgate Park to Orienteer.

On the drive down the motorway signs confirm to me that they have finally totally lost it. ‘A3 closed after A31 Junction’ they proudly proclaim. Isn’t the A3 in Hampshire. At least they’re no longer saying ‘Gritting In Progress’ or telling me ‘to not drive when I’m asleep’.

The orienteering goes well. 20th out of 46.

Drop in on my Dad to check on his broadband which seems to be running slow. While I’m there L texts to say she’s got posh pate and Blue Vinney for lunch. I head home, where there’s also spiced up Mulligatawny soup on offer. L is also slow cooking stewing beef with a view to doing a cottage pie for later. She's been a busy girl.

L suggests we go to bed, have sex, have a cup of tea and then enter Skipton. Most of that sounds like a good deal. It's a bit like the hangman offering the condemned man a bit of nooky before he slips the noose over his head. Its good job I can still perform under such stress.

In the end we have double round of sex and chocolate (although it’s a dark chocolate flake which isn’t the best) but this just delays the inevitable. Seconds later I'm slipping the noose over my head as we enter the triathlon. Now I’m going to have to change the focus of my training because I’ll need to fit in a couple of swims next week. I also need to figure out how I’m going to count my lengths.

In the football, Sunderland surprisingly lose at Colchester. Having previously thought the Mackems were home and dry I now realise they are actually only a point ahead of us. Birmingham will go top tomorrow if they win at Wolves.

We head out for a beer, leaving Doggo at home, as he looks knackered and he’s competing tomorrow. We go to the Grove, where the Directors is off and the Speckled Hen is dull. So we move onto the Borlase and sit in their roof garden drinking Landlord and Pitch Black.

Back at home L’s stewing beef has kind of been forgotten and doesn’t have its potato topping, so we splash it all over a couple of jacket potatoes instead. Very nice.