My Knightess In A Black Astra

L helps me warm up then it’s into the condom for the bike ride to work. It’s a bit warmer this morning but I’ve put away my summer gear and spent a bomb on these new trousers, so I’ll have to cope. I run into L and Doggo on their way back from the park but Doggo didn't even notice me. He was far too busy with his nose up another dog’s bottom. It’s a bit early for them to be on their way back, which is not a good sign. Hope they’ve not had another run in with the psycho doe. L is still seething that the council didn’t manage to slay the one deer she wanted rid of.

As I arrived at Chaddesden Bridge, the cyclist in front of me dismounted and unwrapped his fags, it's a healthy pastime cycling you know, and dropped all the wrappers on the floor. The nearest bin was a mere two feet away. When I told him that there was a bin here, he meekly replied 'ok yes'. So perhaps he wasn't trying to make some statement after all. Probably just a pillock.

Once I’m over the bridge and I'm clipping back in, I nearly get embarrassed as this five foot female midget comes past me. Head down, she's off and she's only on a shopper bike with full mudguards, panniers, saddle bags etc. Not exactly a bike built for speed. She goes past a couple of drongos on MTB's as if they weren't there. Not difficult admittedly but they still looked gutted. The reason lads, is that she's mastered the principle of gears. The lads are pedalling four times more quickly than they are moving, she is not. I save myself from embarrassment, as I reel her in and pass her.

At work, it’s a full house, three bikes in the car park.

L has promised herself a new pair of earrings if she can keep off the cakes today. However no one has opened the Rocky Roads yet, which is a shame because I’d like L to bring me some Rocky Road. I tell her that if she brings me some Rocky Road without indulging herself then I’ll buy her the earrings. Of course she could open the packet, bring me some and nick a piece herself and I would never know. I’ll just have to bank on her being so guilt ridden if she does illicitly indulge, that she’ll turn down the gift. Either that or she’ll seek to alleviate her guilt in other ways that may also be beneficial to me. So I can’t lose really.

I suspected yesterday that I had a slow puncture in my rear tyre and when I was cycling home up the hill at Lodge Lane in Spondon it just didn't feel right. I pulled over and it was nearly flat. It wouldn't pump up so I got all my kit out and changed the tube. The repair went smoothly and only took ten minutes or so. So soon I was on the move again. However just as I was descending the hill down into Ilkeston I heard it instantly deflate. With no more tubes I had no alternative than to get off and walk. I text L, more in hope than anything, as I'm sure she's got a gym class. A chap in a car pulls over, he's got his own bike in the back and as a fellow cyclist, he offers me a lift, to Eastwood. I decline. Although it was nice of him to offer. I'll walk, it's only three miles or so. L rings, her class doesn’t start until later and soon she's on her way to rescue me. When she arrives she informs me that she's clocked nearly eight miles in the car, so it could have been a long walk.

I get home too late to swim but we do get to dog class. Which goes well, I try not to over do it with Doggo. We even get praise from the trainer.

Aside from being my Knightess in a black Astra, L's also come up trumps with the Rocky Road. There are two chunks in a box in the fridge waiting for me. She says she hasn’t even licked her fingers. I look forward to shopping for earrings for her.