Pints Of Stilton

A fairly lonely bike in today; no runner, no blonde, I don't even see the old timer with the Santa beard on his bike. Even lonelier at work because L is not in work today and our wonderful email system is blocking all her emails from home, thanks Microsoft.

The latest crap research reveals why moody teenagers specialise in nonchalant sideways glances and shoe gazing. It has been revealed that looking a potential mate straight in the eye makes you up to eight times more attractive to them, that is if she doesn't dismiss you as a creep. So while they think it makes them look cool, it is in fact, just nature’s way of keeping the under-age pregnancy statistics under control.

Also in the news, in the national press no less, is Arnold Hill School in Nottingham. This is the school where on Tuesday a woman turned up at the school dressed as a WPC to wish one of the pupils a very happy birthday. It is believed the boy's mother had intended to book a gorillagram for her son and had even gained a teacher's permission but a stripper turned up instead. The WPC apparently asked the birthday boy to stand up before dancing to Britney Spears in front of his classmates. At which point the teacher stopped the show, presumably because of the woman's poor taste in music.

The account reported by the over-excited national media was far more exciting. In their reports the woman stripped to her underwear, had the teenager put a collar on her, spanked the boy sixteen times (once of each year of his age) and asked him to rub cream onto her body. Then she ordered him to get on all fours and led him around the classroom. Unfortunately and presumably to the disappointment of the rest of the class, it appears that none of this actually happened.

For some reason it's a fast ride home, a new fastest time for my new route through Bramcote. L is on hand for some celebratory lycra stripping.

We walk Doggo down to Beeston for a few beers. We nearly don't get there as the fireworks are still carrying on and one particular bang is a little too close to home for him. I manage to talk him into continuing, although he insists on a very brisk pace. It's worth the trip, Stilton porter (two pints) and Otter Ale (two pints) both excellent. Even L's on the pints of Stilton. Home for chilli and Jools.