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I try an experiment today and borrow L's heart rate monitor to see how much effort I'm really putting into my cycling. It’s bloody annoying because I have to keep stopping because it keeps turning itself off. In the end I just give up on. Then a few miles into my ride I glance at it and see that's its working again. This time it stays working. I realise that it needs moisture to make the contacts to my chest and therefore once I got a sweat up it was fine.

One other thing I discover today is the point of 'child on board' stickers. Subject to what I thought, it's nothing to do with people saying 'look at me I've got my leg over and got someone pregnant'. Yeah, big deal. They are actually a warning to cyclists. This is because anyone with a child on board is liable, at any moment and without warning, to take their hands off the wheel to club an errant child, and therefore the vehicle is likely to veer into the curb and crush a cyclist. This I discover as I hop up onto the pavement to avoid a 4x4 full of the little people.

I also try a new route today, a detour via Spondon station, which kind of works but needs a few refinements.

I make it to work, alive, according to the heart rate monitor at least. The only data it gives is a total time, which is irrelevant, and an average, which was 138. It doesn’t store the maximum, which is what I really need, so I might have to mount it on my handlebars so that I can keep my eye on it.

L and Doggo run. Today's altercation on the park is with a cement mixer, they really are out to get him at the moment.

Paul Jewell is unveiled at Pride Park. Which sounds good to me, or it might if we can understand him, as it's a Scotsman out and a Scouser in, so we’ll still need an interpreter. He’s good at promotions, which is the main thing. How good he is at miracles remains to be seen but if he pulls one off he'll be a hero. Just like Billy... err wonder what happened to him. His first team selection will be interesting, Earnshaw anybody...



L says she's rather fond of Paul Jewell. He's on her legendary 'would go on a dinner date with but wouldn't shag' list. Which is quite a long list from what I can gather. This doesn't tally with the proven theory that men and women can't be just friends, so if L's not telling porkies then it'll only happen if PJ's hot for her. Doubt we'll ever find out the answer to that one.

I bike to the pool. Where the girlie in lane one is being far too nice to me, saying 'hello', 'after you' and other pleasantries. I know her game, she's trying to psyche me out. L reckons she probably fancies me. Hmmm. L needn't worry, the girlie's on my 'would swim with but wouldn't shag because she's better at front crawl than me' list.

I skip dog class and take Doggo on a brief run to guides, brief because we're running late. Not that we expect the guides to kick out on time. They don't, fifteen minutes late. Which means fifteen minutes of listening to the mindless gossip of the people waiting to collect their offspring.

Home for curry and a couple of glasses of red wine.