VD

Alarm goes off at 6am. Doggo and I are soon up, L is less keen but soon follows. In to running gear and off we go for a circuit of the pond. Doggo's light appears to be low on power, so hope we don't lose him.

Five minutes in I realise my mistake. Running on a Madras isn't a very good idea. Spend a lot of time clenching buttocks together. Doggo does two dumps. I'm very tempted to deposit one of my own around the pond. L says she wouldn't pick it up like she does Doggo's but to go ahead. I resist. End up walking a lot. Eventually get home and relief. Must be easier ways to start the day.

L though seems thrilled with her VD (Valentine's Day) treat. The way to a girl's heart (and other important areas) is a muddy run. Trust me; I know how to show a girl a good time. She promises to think of something equally romantic and non-commercialised for me later. I can give her a few suggestions if she's struggling for ideas on how to reciprocate on my generous gift.

In the car and a good trip in. I'm early for work which makes a nice change. Have skipped biking in favour of going for a swim tonight.

It's good to have my Ipod back. An excellent fast service from www.ukipodrepairs.com . It's as good as new, well apart from the fact that it's still very scratched. Spend the whole day at work plugged in, catching up on a whole list of 'must listen to' new bands. Mostly rubbish, delete nearly all of them. One of the few that stay on my Ipod are 'Blood Red Shoes' who are ok. Decide to re-listen to 'Hot Chip' after no end of people gave it album of the year for 2006. Nah. Still not impressed. Delete.

The snow in Scotland is fast disappearing. All the ski areas are open for skiing but it all does look a bit thin on the webcams. The forecast for the week ahead isn’t promising either, warm, and wet. Never mind, L is looking forward to a romantic week, strolling hand in hand through the woods with our wayward collie. Although the way things are going Daughter will have us all out fitness training.

Apparently Daughter's latest career plan is to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Hmmm. She can't be any worse than the people that I know who are already in that field.

Go straight from work to the swimming pool. It's very quiet but the iceberg is there again, occupying the whole of lane 2. She's probably been there all week, refusing to move. I go in lane 5 (slow) as it is the only totally free lane. I swim on my own in there for a while. Even have enough space to try a few unsuccessful flip turns.

Eventually the pool fills up and with other slow swimmers now in my lane I decide it’s time to move lanes. I notice that lane 1 (fast) is now empty so I promote myself to there.

The Iceberg proves as immovable as ever, many people try and share a lane with it. All are repelled and forced to find another lane. Then one chap, a psycho, has a go and he seems determined to shift the unshiftable. As he powers up and down I see the iceberg has to weigh anchor occasionally to let him past, a victory of sorts. Later I notice that this man too has gone, however the iceberg was still afloat in her lane.

I spend the rest of the session unopposed in lane 1. I try another flip turn but the lifeguard gives me a worried look as if I'm trying to drown myself, so I give it up as a bad job. At least for now.

Major crisis when I get home. Daughter can't get the video programmed for the two programmes she'll miss while she's at guides. This is because someone has filled up all eight programs on the video. Wonder who that was. She's no longer keen to go to guides, as she can't bear to risk missing bloody Hollyoaks. Eventually managed to get her out the house and we walk to guides.

L texts to say she's been ill and is about to 'crawl' home. Doggo and me decide to walk towards her in case she passes out in the street. Turns out L has been practically fainting at work. Hopefully not bird flu.

Have an unhealthy tea and then take Doggo to class. Reluctantly leaving a very unwell looking L.

As it happens, Doggo is pretty good tonight, although as disobedient as ever. We even seem to have a touch of speed. Not many there so we finish early.

Get home. L hasn't expired, although she is still looking rather off colour. Despite that we have a couple of glasses of wine to commemorate VD.