Snow Joke

Something strange happened this morning or was it last night. Woke up with my 23-year-old again but it was still dark outside and the alarm hadn't gone off. Oddly we were both awake. Things kind of took off from there. Half an hour or so later, the alarm still hadn't gone off. Looked across at the alarm and it was 2.30am. Hmmm. My girl didn't complain that I'd disturbed her sleep. So she must have enjoyed our nocturnal exploits or maybe even she instigated it!

When the alarm finally does go off, I get out of bed and draw the curtains to inspect the expected whiteout. Nothing. Not a flake. Although admittedly it does, rather apologetically, start snowing a little later. Gently.

Take the car to work. Heaviest snow for years according to the BBC weather. This must be particularly devious heavy snow, as it sneakily disguises itself as a light dusting. Bugger. Forgot to pack a spade.

Very easy getting in to work, cruised in, got to work a lot earlier than usual. It helps no end with all the schools being off. Radio Derby read out a list of 32 schools that are shut. This includes many hard to get to city centre schools where the kids really only have to cross the road to get there.

When I was a lad we used to get proper snow, six foot deep and we still went to school in it, sometimes by foot because the bus didn’t turn up. If you didn't arrive at school they'd want to know why and if the snow wasn't up to your neck you couldn't use that as an excuse.

The whole of the country seems to have ground to a halt despite the fact that round here there's not a single flake on the roads. L's had three patients cancel. Well at least she'll be home early tonight.

It's must all be to do with our 'can't be bothered culture'. In reality the snow is a total washout, the odd flake is still falling but not settling. This country can't do anything right, it doesn't even snow properly here.

Surprisingly the council staff had managed to battle through all the drifts to get the leisure centre open so that L could get her morning swim. Was worried that we would get to the leisure centre for our squash tonight and find it locked, more hopeful now.

End up not going to the pub. My drinking partner has brought a packed lunch. He assumed it would be too horrible to go out in. Has everyone gone soft? Obviously he has more faith in the British weather than I do. None of the sandwich vans turn up, so I go to Sainsbury's in the car on immaculate roads. It is packed to rafters. Luckily no one has been panic buying the sandwiches and I manage to get some lunch.

The radio continues the pretence as I drive home. The number of closed schools in Derbyshire now stands at 70. Nationwide it's 2000. Local radio advises people to keep off the roads, don't make any journeys unless absolutely necessary and drive carefully if they do. Yet there is absolutely nothing remotely snowy on the roads! I have the huskies primed and ready to get me to squash but now I'm going to have to tell them they're not needed.

Walk Doggo. Although I'm not too sure why. Taking him out in this weather just seems to make him friskier. L gets home. Together with Daughter, she takes him for a run but he's still lively. Daughter seems to have recovered from her school avoidance phase. L blames it on PMT. Is that PMT as in Permanently Moody Teenager?

Squash is a bit of a wash out. I don't play well and he does. I win one game. The pub is better. Grantham Stout 4.3% is back on. I have two.

Get home and L has done her beans dish, have a couple of glasses of red wine with it. Knackered again, go to sleep dreaming of being awoken at 2am again.