Babe In A Skirt Spotted at Dog Show

I'm at another dog show today but it's not a particular early start, so I have time to disrupt L's sleep first. She doesn't seem particularly with it at first but she soon gets in the swing of things which saves me from a bollocking.

Then I take the injured one to his agility event. As he managed to make it to the pub without limping last night, I have no qualms about sending him over the A-frame. L says I'm a hard man. Well I do try to be. She says that I would have shouted at her if she ran with an injury. Well yes, I would but she’d still have done it. Although I suppose she's right when she points out that she wouldn't be going in and out of weaves or on a seesaw. Well not before the third glass of wine.

First course. Weaves perfect. Then I try an ambitious move on the A-Frame but it all goes pear shaped and Doggo gets faulted for missing his contact. It wasn't really that ambitious, it's something that works every week in training but today it doesn't. Some people come up to us and say they thought we got it but we didn't. Time was good though, we would have been 5th fastest had we been clear. I'm blaming Doggo for this one.

Second course. We do a storming quick round, which is something we don't do very often but then Doggo comes out of the tunnel too quick, something he does even less often and I have to back pedal to pull him back. I stumble and almost fall over. Doggo takes his eye off the weaves and misses them. Why did it have to happen at the weaves? My fault though. 1-1.

Before we do our final run, I spot a babe in a summer skirt wandering in the front gate. She's not difficult to spot; she stands out a mile. A good looking girl in a skirt is something you don't see very often at a dog show; if at all. It's a very rare but welcome sight. What's more she's come to support us. I ask Doggo 'Who's that' and he jogs off to check out a chap on a bike instead. He's hopeless. It's no wonder he can't do his weave poles if his eyesight is that bad. Personally I have no problem recognising L.

Final course, it's hot now and Doggo is slow. He trots round with a clear round but it's too slow to get us anything.

We do a quick wander into the Elvaston Castle grounds for a rather nice 'award winning' ice cream and then we head for home. After all, I've now got a girl in a skirt to play with. Once home I send her straight to the bedroom, ordering her not to remove anything until I get there. The skirt stays on.

I get more than I bargained for in the bedroom. L soon has me writhing in agony on the bed, as she tends to a very nasty looking swelling that I've picked up. It takes her two hands (and a pair of tweezers) to coax the fluid out. It was one hell of a nasty bite that I'd picked up on my leg. She seems to take great enjoyment in torturing me like this.

We head over to Derby for a night at the Smithfield and the Flowerpot. L doesn't bother getting changed, despite the fact she has just bought a new skirt. She says the one she's wearing seems to be working pretty well. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

The bus is just arriving as we walk up, I heroically run and hold up the bus for my still injured girl. We get to share the bus with the usual bunch of weirdoes and drongos.

Crop Circle is ok (2 pints of), L has a ginger flavoured beer. Follow this by a couple of 5% ales at Flowerpot, Abbeydale being one of them.

We don't think the Red Arrow is going to turn up to bring us home; in fact such is our lack of trust in it we don't expect it to. Then amazingly it shows up.